


Nuts About You

by Sins_of_the_Scruff



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Spicyhoney - Freeform, Stretch is nothing like Snow White, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Papyrus/Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), some violence of the tiny scratch kind, they're a lovely old married couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27706004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sins_of_the_Scruff/pseuds/Sins_of_the_Scruff
Summary: Based on a few pics from a discussion on Discord with some great artists/writers! Stretch goes on a walk in the park and gets a little closer to the wildlife than he'd like to!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Nuts About You

The sun was setting lower earlier in the day. A sure sign that winter was soon to come. The neighborhood park was buried under nearly a foot of tri colored leaves that fell from the tree tops in droves. Stretch walked by himself at a leisurely pace, kicking leaves out of the way to reveal the sidewalk beneath. There was a definite chill in the air, but it hadn’t gotten cold enough that a walk was out of the question. If anything, he was happy to take a stroll or two around the pond and playground with his heavier hoodie and beanie on. Edge wouldn’t let him leave the house otherwise. 

The walk was a chance to blow off some steam, allow the rapid thoughts that ran rampant through his head to slowly fizzle out and leave him calm. His therapist brought it up as it would be good for him to get some exercise and get out of the house on a regular basis in addition to clearing his head. Today’s walk was accompanied by the sounds of the 80s and currently Hall & Oates was the soundtrack for his mind flush. 

Stretch knew this park well, he frequented it with Edge when the farmer’s market was open on the weekends and any of the get-togethers thrown by the local town council. There were plenty of monster and human children alike running around and climbing on the playground equipment on any given day, but today it seemed the rising chill was keeping most at home. That made the park quieter which Stretch took as a blessing. He crossed the pond bridge for the second time, making sure to give Big Bertha, the local swan menace, her space as he made his way over to a bench beneath the trees.

He sat back and breathed in a large breath before slowly letting it out in increments. It was a nice day. Nice enough that he wished that Edge had come along to walk with him. Edge had politely declined, wanting some personal time alone himself. That could mean anything. It could mean reorganizing the spice rack for the millionth time, scrubbing grout with a toothbrush in the bathroom, or time spent reading those cheesy romance novels he thought Stretch didn’t know he had. Stretch snorted as he paused Cyndi Lauper and wound his earbuds up to place in his pocket. 

He reached into the deep confines of his hoodie and produced a small vape. He was trying to quit cigarettes and was nicotine free for the past 2 weeks. Every week he abstained; he got a gold star on a chart at home. Edge had put it up as a sort of motivation tactic with different prizes if he made certain goals. When he made it to 1 month, Edge would give him a bottle of the fancy honey, the one that he only had a spoonful of during special occasions. Edge kept the bottle under lock and key in a hidden location, so you could definitely say this was well worth the work.

If he could continue and not cave to his vices, Edge said the 6 month gift would be worth his sacrifice. It was said with a certain glint to his eye lights and needless to say, Stretch was more than curious. The vape was simple, the liquid inside contained no nicotine, but the act of taking in the flavored smoke and exhaling it was enough to get by. He had a few different vapes with different flavored liquid, the honey and oddly enough, blueberry was a favorite to use.

Taking a few puffs, he let his head fall back and exhaled the fruity flavored vapor. The nonexistent stomach he had growled and he reached into the other side of the deep confines of his hoodie to produce a handful of pistachios. One of the few nuts he could tolerate, he preferred to buy the bag of already deshelled ones. Less work, more yum. He flicked one up into the air and let it fall back into his mouth and chewed slowly, relishing the taste. A few more nuts flew into the air and were caught with precision in his mouth, definitely the superior way of eating pistachios. 

He reached for another handful when a rustle of branches and small chittering got his attention. Stretch looked up to see a small squirrel staring at him. Well, they were actually staring at the nuts in his hand, Stretch quickly figured out. He chuckled as he placed his vape back into his hoodie and flicked a nut up towards the squirrel who quickly snagged it and ran off. A second or two went by and more rustling signaled the squirrel was back, or at least it looked like the same squirrel. It held its arms out as if asking for another pistachio. Stretch couldn’t say no to a face like that and threw a couple more up to it. The squirrel bolted with its hoard and Stretch sat back, grabbing his vape and take a few more puffs.

The rustle came again and the squirrel was back. Stretch had already given half of his pistachios to the little gremlin and he shook his head, _ “sorry, buddy. don’t have anymore for you right now! _ ” The squirrel made a few wild gestures as if insulted that Stretch had no more to give. With an awfully angry chitter, the squirrel scurried back into the branches. Stretch chuckled and sat back to enjoy what little time he had left before he walked back home. Surely Edge would have something nice and warm tonight for dinner. 

Another rustle came from the tree, and then another, then several followed by leaves and tiny branches falling from the tree. Stretch glanced up as he took another drag on the vape and his sockets went wide as not one, not two, but what seemed to be a tiny army of squirrels sitting on the branches looking down at him. Quickly expelling the vapor, he let out a nervous chuckle,  _ “uhh….sure are a lotta you, huh?” _

The squirrel that he’d been feeding chittered for a few seconds and the group seemed to answer it. Sweat started to bead down Stretch’s skull as each squirrel stared him down,their beady little eyes focused on him and not the nuts. A few even bounced to the lower branches, maybe a foot or so from him. This didn’t look good. _ “hey now, i don’t know what i’ve done to incur the wrath of the Squirrel King, but…” _

Stretch let out a sudden yelp as the squirrels that were closest to him jumped for him, followed by the others. He was covered in squirrels, some scratching at his skull, others trying to crawl down the front of his hoodie and some that went for his pockets. Stretch exploded up off the bench, tripping over his shoes and crashing to the ground. He was there one moment, shrill screaming and squirrel shrieks breaking the park’s silence, and then they were gone the next. 

Meanwhile, Edge was at home, sitting in his comfy chair and reading one of his novels. Stretch had left to go walk in the park and wouldn’t be due home for at least another half hour. Enough time for him to finish his latest novel. He was nearly through this series and his next was funnily enough, recommended to him by Undyne. As he turned the page, he stilled as his magic ran a chill up his spine. A split second later, Stretch dropped from nowhere onto the livingroom floor, oddly enough covered in squirrels and screaming.

_ “EEEEEEEDGE!!!! HEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEE” _

And then Stretch was gone again, his vape falling to the floor the only sign that what Edge saw was real. He took a moment to sigh, removing his glasses and setting them and the book off to the side. Guess he wouldn’t be finishing his novel, though he hoped the heroine had enough sense to save herself within the last two chapters. He had his own damsel in distress to rescue. He quickly put on his shoes, wrapped his scarf around his neck and hopped in his car, taking the shortest route to the park. 

Ten minutes later, he walked through the park’s entrance and started walking their normal route, looking for Stretch. He had just made it to the bridge over the pond where he saw the familiar neon orange hoodie standing out in a pile of leaves. Stretch was lying on his front, skull face first into the dirt, groaning, at least a sign that he was alive and conscious. There were jagged rips in his hoodie along with several scratches on his hands and skull, making it look like he was a victim of a horrible mugging. Nuts were strewn about him, a clue as to why the squirrels had attacked him without quarter and he couldn’t help but chuckle as Big Bertha had made her way over and was picking at what she could find on the ground. 

A foreign growl escaped from Stretch,  _ “not funny, edgelord. ugggggggghhhh…..remind me never to bring pistachios to the park again.” _ Stretch slowly rolled onto his back and groaned some more. Edge shook his head and shooed Big Bertha away before kneeling down and helping Stretch sit up a bit. Stretch groaned again and then stiffened, his eye lights widened as he stared up at Edge and then down to his hoodie. Edge glanced down and saw there was movement in his hoodie.

Before either could do anything, the hoodie was viciously ripped open and a squirrel came tumbling out, a handful of nuts in its paws as it shrieked and ran back to the tree. A moment passed before Stretch realized Edge was softly chuckling, his shoulders betraying him as they vibrated with his laughter. Stretch wasted no time quickly shucking the hoodie, checking for any other possible chestbursters. He shivered and snarled,  _ “you know what? nevermind, I’m not coming here until the winter and these tree rats are GONE!” _

  
Edge quietly finished laughing and picked him up bridal style to carry back to the car. He would come back to get what remained of Stretch’s hoodie once he had him in and the heater on to warm his quickly chilling bones. He would have cuts and scratches that needed tended to, but other than that, he was only shaken up. He placed him in the passenger seat and grabbed a blanket from the back to wrap him in. He got into the driver’s side and before he started the car, he pulled Stretch over, placing a kiss to his scratched skull and responded,  _ “Don’t be so upset, my love. They can’t help but be nuts about you.” _

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration and credit goes to Rook's amazing quick drawings, and to Essy, Fresh, keelywolfe for adding to the magic!


End file.
